Being alone but not being lonely is really quite freeing. Being happy to spend time with just yourself is something so important to me. Taking a solo trip to Brighton for instance, seemed like a great idea to exercise this concept. There’s nothing quite like being able to wander aimlessly, under no constraints and just explore a place. So I did just that, I packed my bag and headed for an overnight trip to Brighton with only myself for company and spoiler; I loved it!
I walked down the Lanes and meandered along the beach where I stood, watching the waves and taking in the seaside sounds for who knows how long. I bought myself pizza for dinner and ice cream afterwards and I even went to a gig in the evening. I treated myself well and enjoyed every second of my mini getaway.
Once you’re happy in your own company, such a contentment starts to seep into life, there’s no outward searching for happiness or validation because you realise you had it in you all along. Being at peace with yourself and enjoying your time with you is a huge step away from the FOMO and loneliness cycle we all get swept up in all too easily. Discovering what you actually enjoy doing when given the choice of anything and then accomplishing just that is so self-affirming. These solo moments give us time to think and learn about who we actually are as a person, what makes us tick, what do we love? It’s important to know who we are through and through so we’re grounded in our identity, no matter what may come our way.
Now I’m not dismissing the importance of community and relationships. I don’t know where I’d be without my friends and family and I love them dearly but our relationship with ourselves when we’re alone is what shapes us. It does take time and commitment to build contentment and comfort in yourself and it can be an intimidating process, the same as any relationship. I feel I’ve come a long way in no longer feeling lonely when I’m alone but boy has it taken huge amounts of practise and self-love.
So don’t be afraid of going somewhere alone! If a whole solo trip away seems daunting then a day out with yourself is a great place to start. It could be as small as taking a walk alone or grabbing a coffee but I promise you, the more time you spend in your own company and learning to really love and accept who you are will make the biggest difference in your life. And next time you want to go somewhere but no one is free to go with you, why not try going by yourself? Make friends there and open up a whole new world for yourself. Embrace adventure, with loved ones but also by yourself, it’s wonderful…